A long line of kilts on Toronto's bluffs just after sundown
Last summer, Doug Elliott and his partner of 31 years, Greg Lawrence, tied the knot at The Toronto Hunt Club in a spectacular Scottish affair.
Hardly the first gay couple in Canada to wed, their marriage is important to gay rights history in our country — Elliot is Canada’s “pre-eminant gay rights lawyer” Michael J. Law (Canadian Bar Association) said of him after his 10 year battle with the Supreme Court over the issue of same-sex marriage. What Melissa Haggerty, the couple’s event planner found so moving about their union was that it didn’t take place immediately after Elliott’s big win, but years later. She quoted his comment to her regarding their choice to finally marry after 31 years, “[the fight] was never about us” rather it was a fight he took on for every other same-sex couple in the country. For many Canadians, Elliott is a hero of the finest sort, and we’re thrilled to be profiling his wedding from 2009.
Hard working Canadian heros: Roberta Bondar speaking at the wedding, and the ear-to-ear smiles on the couple at the church
The invitation to the wedding suggested Scottish attire and Haggerty was amazed at how many men (and women) showed up in plaid… her blog post about the event “Plaid Explosion” says it all. However, under her guidance the two grooms, who both wore the Elliott family tartan, kept the event minimal and elegant. Bill Fulghum’s super-sized arrangements of red roses, Scottish thistle and magnolia leaves kept the colour scheme simple and masculine and the tables were dressed with splashes of the Elliott tartan to tie everything together.
Notes: Melissa Haggerty (SpectacularSpectacular) was the event planner, Bull Fulghum (formerly of Church Street Flowers) worked his magic on the blooms, and Storey Wilkins (Storey Wilkins Photography) worked her magic with the camera while the Toronto Hunt Club provided the perfect spot for a sophisticated and understated party.
Over at GroomGroove.com, it’s known as “the one flower the groom is responsible for” and their sage advice warns that seatbelts (and presumably many activities such as hugging and jacket-removing) can easily decapitate the delicate boutonnière. But aside from getting it to the church on time, and in one piece, what rules are there when it comes to the bloom on a groom’s lapel?
I love this boutonnière because it incorporates (presumably) a little of the groom's Scottish heritage into his modern wedding attire: This kind of creative use of tradition never fails to impress!
10 important things:
1. Boutonnières/Buttonholes are worn on the left lapel, over the heart.
2. While a groom’s bloom can be different, everyone else should match.
3. Boutonnières or buttonholes should be provided for all key family and friends at a wedding, including ushers and the ring bearer.
4. As a guest, a man can wear his own subtle buttonhole to a wedding in honour of the celebratory nature of the day.
5. Traditionally, buttonholes are a single white or red rose or a white carnation, daisy or gardenia. The groom’s may also be selected to match the bride’s bouquet.
6. A buttonhole flower slots into the buttonhole on the lapel of the jacket and is best secured with a stem loop, often included on the suit by the tailor, but a pin can work too.
7. The words buttonhole and boutonnière are often used interchangeably but generally, a buttonhole is a single flower, whereas a boutonnière is more of an arrangement.
8. A lapel vase, hooked over the buttonhole and hidden beneath the lapel, holds a tiny bit of water to keep buttonholes fresh.
9. Boutonnières are often too large to slot into the buttonhole (and equally too large for a lapel vase) instead, the buttonhole should be used as a location marker and the flowers should be pinned to cover it up.
10. Pinning must be done carefully in all cases as the pin should never go through the stem of the flower, but over it, and any pin marks left on a satin lapel will leave permanent marks.
Your Heart on Your Sleeve Cufflinks by Bella Moda Artist
Love these tongue-in-cheek heart-themed cufflinks for guys, especially those making their way to the altar shortly. What a fantastic way for him to wear his heart on his sleeve without compromising his coolness.
Ace of Hearts playing card silver cufflinks by Crimson King
How refreshing! A kit for a man to make it through his wedding day with aplomb. Check out this bag of goodies created especially with the man in mind by wedding planner Jackie James. Mojuba Groom kits have been designed to fix all those little possible challenges a man may face in the midst of a wedding, and each item has been carefully selected for its quality and performance.
A few of the ‘must haves’ in the messenger-styled bag include:
WIth a well organized interior the kit helps to avoid any chaotic moments on the big day
· Advil and Pepcid Complete
· Shave kit with razor, Gilette® shaving cream and a styptic pencil for nicks
· Listerine PocketMist®
· Carmex® lip balm
· Poker-size Mojuba playing cards
· Cavallini & Co.® file folders to organize wedding documents, contracts
· Band-Aid® bandages
· Sniff® tissues
· La Fresh hand sanitizer wipes
· Shoe horn and shoe-shine wipes
· Gilchrist and Soames® sewing kit with pre-threaded needle
· Kodak camera with Mojuba design
· Mojuba pens and notepad
How’s that for prepared? We think the idea is especially important at a destination wedding where the little things might be hard to come by last minute. The kit retails for $165.
Jack, J Crew’s in-house stylist is here for the clothing unsure. Email him a question about what or how to wear something here or check out some of the questions the company has already featured on their site here, they include when to wear linen suits, how to dress as a guest for a wedding and how to put a little extra something into a regular suit.
While you’re at it, take a peek at what the famous American shop has available in terms of clothes for weddings and honeymoons and order up an outfit.
In the mad rush leading up to his cottage wedding this summer, Timothy Muirhead stepped on a rusty nail and spent the afternoon getting a tetanus shot in North Bay.
Despite missing pre-ceremony photographs with his wedding party due to the hospital run, Timothy did leave the male side of the wedding party with a highly memorable token of thanks for taking part in his important moment.
The wedding was a fun, casual, potluck affair followed by a huge pancake breakfast the next morning, and the dress code ‘followed suit’ and the wedding party wasn’t required to rent or buy anything in particular to wear. To unify the men in the group, Timothy bought them each a belt buckle. Not just any belt buckle, however, but a buckle that made a fairly strong statement about his relationship with each of them, and their individual identities. A brilliant move, if we may say so.
One of Toronto’s most stylish men-about-town, Nicholas Mellamphy has been tweeting lately about his string of bad luck with losing pocket squares — an item, it seems, he’s rarely without, and when it comes to putting a look together The Room’s Creative Director is definitely the man for the job.
Interested? We checked out AskMen.com, a popular men’s lifestyle website for the essentials of the pkt sqr. “A true silk pocket square,” the website’s Fashion Correspondant, Michael A. Lubarksy writes, “is best used to add a dash of color and style to your wardrobe, and proper pocket square folds add a touch of uniqueness to your overall look.” Etiquette says the pocket square may be worn with a boutonniere, but only when the two, along with the shirt, bow tie and suit form a well-balanced and unified look. Lubarsky also wrote that while most men might think they have the fold down, they aren’t even half way there, this is The Square, his favourite fold for a formal suit or tuxedo and “simplicity at it’s finest” and a sign of confidence:
Instructions:
1- Open up the square. 2- Now fold it in half, lengthwise. 3- Fold the bottom up so it fall just short of meeting the top. 4- Flip it around. Tuck it in.
For more folds, and a little extra education, go here.
Who doesn’t notice a great pair of socks? Grooms are venturing away from black and discovering a world of stripes, patterns and polka dots for sock fashion. “Men are understanding that they don’t have to be in basic black all the time,” says Melissa Austria of Gotstyle Menswear.
Checker board, contrast heel or toe, dot socks, pencil flower socks, argyle and stripes – grooms are using socks as a stylish addition to express their personalities, complement the bride’s shoes or wedding colours and to have a bit of fashionable fun on their special day!
Love these ties that are screenprinted by hand; Bethany Shorb “toybreaker“, a designer and performer launched the company when she noticed a void in sophisticated, creative neckwear.
Clippers, Oak Trees and Ex Libris book plate designs and packaging
From techie designs for lovable geeks to scenic flowers to anatomical drawings, these ties are definitely worth the fuss (and they offer wedding party discounts for multiple ties in the same design). Everytime I visit the Etsy shop, I fall for different designs, love that Shorb has begun to create scarves for girls to wear in her most popular designs.
A custom tie is a great gift for groomsmen, especially if “wear your black suit” is their dress code. The collection includes tons of designs, colours and most of the ties come in toddler or child sizes with clip on versions of the real thing for matching little boys while avoiding tears of frustration.
Every tie comes nicely packaged, ready to gift and individual tie prices start at $30 (microfibre) or $40 (silk).
“The FOB is MIA” a great line from The Wedding Planner takes aim at an emotional dad prior to his daughter’s wedding ceremony. Spencer Tracy and Steve Martin’s behaviour, both as George Banks in the two film versions of Father of the Bride, are equally entertaining as they deal with their only daughter’s wedding. This stuff doesn’t get old, it’s funny because it’s emotional and dads aren’t allowed to get emotional very often and when they do, we’re all unprepared for it.
Robert Fisher dancing with his daughter, Laura
A few weeks ago, Robert Fisher, a News Reader for CBC’s Here & Now program walked his own {and only} daughter Laura, down the aisle at Ottawa’s Museum of Civilization. “The afterglow continues, ” he said when we asked him about what it felt like, “it was the most wonderful day of my life.”
Far more collected than any movie dad, Fisher recalled their walk down the aisle to Vivaldi, chatting about how perfect the day was with perfect clarity and saying he experienced very mixed emotions but they didn’t get the better of him. He credits his dry-eyes to having no regrets, talking of his respect for Dan, the groom who clearly adores his daughter, “what more could I ask for?”
No stranger to public performance, Fisher’s two pieces of advice for any father, especially any father prone to emotion, are to “keep your emotion in the text and leave your tears in the den” (i.e. rehearse rehearse rehearse) when it comes to the speech, and get a glimpse of the dress before the big day.
Laura was concerned he’d be overwhelmed seeing her in the dress for the first time on her wedding day and so she invited him to her first fitting. “I was the only male [at the boutique]… and it was intimidating … but it speaks about our relationship,” he said. To have already seen the wedding dress prior to the wedding day allowed him to spread out the moments, which he says he will always remember, and also to enjoy the details of the day more: “I will never, never forget the moment when I saw her in her wedding dress on her wedding day.”
… Travelled down the road and back again
The wedding was a fun, casual, potluck affair followed by a huge pancake breakfast the next morning, and the dress code ‘followed suit’ and the wedding party wasn’t required to rent or buy anything in particular to wear. To unify the men in the group, Timothy bought them each a belt buckle. Not just any belt buckle, however, but a buckle that made a fairly strong statement about his relationship with each of them, and their individual identities. A brilliant move, if we may say so.
