A long line of kilts on Toronto's bluffs just after sundown

Last summer, Doug Elliott and his partner of 31 years, Greg Lawrence, tied the knot at The Toronto Hunt Club in a spectacular Scottish affair.

Hardly the first gay couple in Canada to wed, their marriage is important to gay rights history in our country — Elliot is Canada’s “pre-eminant gay rights lawyer” Michael J. Law (Canadian Bar Association) said of him after his 10 year battle with the Supreme Court over the issue of same-sex marriage. What Melissa Haggerty, the couple’s event planner found so moving about their union was that it didn’t take place immediately after Elliott’s big win, but years later.  She quoted his comment to her regarding their choice to finally marry after 31 years, “[the fight] was never about us” rather it was a fight he took on for every other same-sex couple in the country. For many Canadians, Elliott is a hero of the finest sort, and we’re thrilled to be profiling his wedding from 2009.

Hard working Canadian heros: Roberta Bondar speaking at the wedding, and the ear-to-ear smiles on the couple at the church

The invitation to the wedding suggested Scottish attire and Haggerty was amazed at how many men (and women) showed up in plaid… her blog post about the event “Plaid Explosion” says it all. However, under her guidance the two grooms, who both wore the Elliott family tartan, kept the event minimal and elegant. Bill Fulghum’s super-sized arrangements of red roses, Scottish thistle and magnolia leaves kept the colour scheme simple and masculine and the tables were dressed with splashes of the Elliott tartan to tie everything together.

Notes: Melissa Haggerty (SpectacularSpectacular) was the event planner, Bull Fulghum (formerly of Church Street Flowers) worked his magic on the blooms, and Storey Wilkins (Storey Wilkins Photography) worked her magic with the camera while the Toronto Hunt Club provided the perfect spot for a sophisticated and understated party.

I love this boutonnière because it incorporates (presumably) a little of the groom's Scottish heritage into his modern wedding attire: This kind of creative use of tradition never fails to impress!

10 important things:

1. Boutonnières/Buttonholes are worn on the left lapel, over the heart.
2. While a groom’s bloom can be different, everyone else should match.
3. Boutonnières or buttonholes should be provided for all key family and friends at a wedding, including ushers and the ring bearer.
4. As a guest, a man can wear his own subtle buttonhole to a wedding in honour of the celebratory nature of the day.
5. Traditionally, buttonholes are a single white or red rose or a white carnation, daisy or gardenia. The groom’s may also be selected to match the bride’s bouquet.
6. A buttonhole flower slots into the buttonhole on the lapel of the jacket and is best secured with a stem loop, often included on the suit by the tailor, but a pin can work too.
7. The words buttonhole and boutonnière are often used interchangeably but generally, a buttonhole is a single flower, whereas a boutonnière is more of an arrangement.
8. A lapel vase, hooked over the buttonhole and hidden beneath the lapel, holds a tiny bit of water to keep buttonholes fresh.
9. Boutonnières are often too large to slot into the buttonhole (and equally too large for a lapel vase) instead, the buttonhole should be used as a location marker and the flowers should be pinned to cover it up.
10. Pinning must be done carefully in all cases as the pin should never go through the stem of the flower, but over it, and any pin marks left on a satin lapel will leave permanent marks.

Notes: Photograph by Tara McMullen Photography and etiquette guidelines compiled with help from a few excellent resources:  Robert Kennedy, Harry Rosen’s Bloor Street location’s made-to-measure expert, Hersey Silversmiths, The Wedding Book by Mindy Weiss and Lisbeth Levine, GroomGroove.com and A Suiteable Wardrobe: Will’s thoughts on dressing in style (blog)

Your Heart on Your Sleeve Cufflinks by Bella Moda Artist

Love these tongue-in-cheek heart-themed cufflinks for guys, especially those making their way to the altar shortly. What a fantastic way for him to wear his heart on his sleeve without compromising his coolness.

Ace of Hearts playing card silver cufflinks by Crimson King

Ace of hearts playing card silver cufflinks, $13 US; Your Heart on Your Sleeve Cufflinks, $24.99US … Now, if only i could find that heart symbol from Romeo and Juliet, we’d have a full set … I’ll keep looking!

The Mojuba groom messenger bag kit

How refreshing! A kit for a man to make it through his wedding day with aplomb. Check out this bag of goodies created especially with the man in mind by wedding planner Jackie James. Mojuba Groom kits have been designed to fix all those little possible challenges a man may face in the midst of a wedding, and each item has been carefully selected for its quality and performance.

A few of the ‘must haves’ in the messenger-styled bag include:

WIth a well organized interior the kit helps to avoid any chaotic moments on the big day

·       Advil and Pepcid Complete
·       Shave kit with razor, Gilette® shaving cream and a styptic pencil for nicks
·       Listerine PocketMist®
·       Carmex® lip balm
·       Poker-size Mojuba playing cards
·       Cavallini & Co.® file folders to organize wedding documents, contracts
·       Band-Aid® bandages
·       Sniff® tissues
·       La Fresh hand sanitizer wipes
·       Shoe horn and shoe-shine wipes
·       Gilchrist and Soames® sewing kit with pre-threaded needle
·       Kodak camera with Mojuba design
·       Mojuba pens and notepad

How’s that for prepared? We think the idea is especially important at a destination wedding where the little things might be hard to come by last minute. The kit retails for $165.

While you’re at it, take a peek at what the famous American shop has available in terms of clothes for weddings and honeymoons and order up an outfit.

… Travelled down the road and back again

In the mad rush leading up to his cottage wedding this summer, Timothy Muirhead stepped on a rusty nail and spent the afternoon getting a tetanus shot in North Bay.

Despite missing pre-ceremony photographs with his wedding party due to the hospital run, Timothy did leave the male side of the wedding party with a highly memorable token of thanks for taking part in his important moment.

The wedding was a fun, casual, potluck affair followed by a huge pancake breakfast the next morning, and the dress code ‘followed suit’ and the wedding party wasn’t required to rent or buy anything in particular to wear. To unify the men in the group, Timothy bought them each a belt buckle. Not just any belt buckle, however, but a buckle that made a fairly strong statement about his relationship with each of them, and their individual identities. A brilliant move, if we may say so.

“I got the idea because we were having a very mixed wedding party,” Timothy wrote in an email to us, “… we were looking for something to unite the guys and act as a little something they could keep after the day was done.  The belts were perfect because they were not at all in your face but provided a small uniting element.  Plus I got to make sure each one had an image that was specific to the person to be wearing it.”

And the reasons behind his choices? “When we were kids, my brother loved Scarface and would make me watch it with him and it would scare the crap out of me {I am ten years younger then him}… it has turned into a funny memory with time so he got a buckle with Tony Montana on it.

My new brother-in-law is really into sci-fi, so he got a buckle with the droids from Star Wars. My best man got a beautiful Golden Girls buckle, it is hard to explain it but that buckle really called out his name when I saw it, he is 6 foot 6 so they idea of this huge guy walking around with Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia on his belt is funny to me.

One of my very good friends was the officiant for the ceremony  and he got a buckle with a ’50s style robot on a blazing red background, when we were in highschool in the early ’90s we were on a lots of online bulletin boards, his online alias was red_robot, so that was perfect.

Finally, I have a friend who is the same age as the rest of us but is a bit of a younger brother to us all, he got a buckle with Ralph Macchio on it from his Karate Kid days.” 

Timothy himself wore a day of the dead buckle, “when my girl and I first met, ” he wrote,  “she was just about to move to Mexico for a while and I went down and visited her over [the day of the dead] holiday and that trip is when our relationship really locked in.”

Adorable, no? For your pals and confidants, the biggest gift is from Barbie’s Basement Jewellery, and the card attached could say, ‘thank you for being a friend.’

Nicholas Mellamphy

One of Toronto’s most stylish men-about-town, Nicholas Mellamphy has been tweeting lately about his string of bad luck with losing pocket squares — an item, it seems, he’s rarely without, and when it comes to putting a look together The Room’s Creative Director is definitely the man for the job.

Interested? We checked out AskMen.com, a popular men’s lifestyle website for the essentials of the pkt sqr. “A true silk pocket square,” the website’s Fashion Correspondant, Michael A. Lubarksy writes, “is best used to add a dash of color and style to your wardrobe, and proper pocket square folds add a touch of uniqueness to your overall look.” Etiquette says the pocket square may be worn with a boutonniere, but only when the two, along with the shirt, bow tie and suit form a well-balanced and unified look. Lubarsky also wrote that while most men might think they have the fold down, they aren’t even half way there, this is The Square, his favourite fold for a formal suit or tuxedo and “simplicity at it’s finest” and a sign of confidence:

Instructions:

1- Open up the square.

2- Now fold it in half, lengthwise.

3- Fold the bottom up so it fall just short of meeting the top.

4- Flip it around. Tuck it in.

For more folds, and a little extra education, go here.

Photo: George Pimentel

Who doesn’t notice a great pair of socks? Grooms are venturing away from black and discovering a world of stripes, patterns and polka dots for sock fashion. “Men are understanding that they don’t have to be in basic black all the time,” says Melissa Austria of Gotstyle Menswear.

Checker board, contrast heel or toe, dot socks, pencil flower socks, argyle and stripes – grooms are using socks as a stylish addition to express their personalities, complement the bride’s shoes or wedding colours and to have a bit of fashionable fun on their special day!

Find these quality tootsies locally at:

Keep Your Socks On at  Green Shag
Happy Socks and Richard James at Gotstyle
Paul Smith and Duchamp at Holt Renfrew
Simon Carter

Photos by: Leo Patrone, Kelly Melissa Photography, Stephanie Williams Photography, Jose Villa Wedding Photography, Todd Pellowe Weddings, Michele M. Waite Photography and White Box Wedding

Clippers, Oak Trees and Ex Libris book plate designs and packaging

From techie designs for lovable geeks to scenic flowers to anatomical drawings, these ties are definitely worth the fuss (and they offer wedding party discounts for multiple ties in the same design). Everytime I visit the Etsy shop, I fall for different designs, love that Shorb has begun to create scarves for girls to wear in her most popular designs.

A custom tie is a great gift for groomsmen, especially if “wear your black suit” is their dress code. The collection includes tons of designs, colours and most of the ties come in toddler or child sizes with clip on versions of the real thing for matching little boys while avoiding tears of frustration.

Every tie comes nicely packaged, ready to gift and individual tie prices start at $30 (microfibre) or $40 (silk).